Issue Collection

The Issue
The fierce debate on Deer hunting in Corrian has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.

The Debate

1. "Deer hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says Violet Jefferson of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"

2. "Banning Deer hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat Alexei Clinton from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the Deer scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that Deers are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that Deer hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"

3. "Well, you know what I think?" asks Charles Chicago, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent Deer is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."

4. "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says Naki Nagasawa, while feeding an infant Deer with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"

The upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned.

The Issue
Several festively chubby people were lodged in their movie theater seats for hours, as CrazyPsychoManiacs's Fire Department worked to free them. Health organizations are now expressing concern over the problem of obesity in CrazyPsychoManiacs.

The Debate

1. "Clearly, we have to do something about the expanding obesity problem in CrazyPsychoManiacs, er, no pun intended," remarks Clint Nagasawa of the National Health Bureau. "The government should implement an extensive exercise management program and make it mandatory that all citizens participate in some kind of exercise at least once a week."

2. "Mandatory exercise! Get out! I don't have the time!" snorts nationally renowned TV chef Steffan McGuffin. "How about banning those greasy fast food joints and drive-thrus? I mean, seriously, if you can't get out of your stupid car to walk in and get a meal, how sad is that? Ban fast food and make junk food more expensive--that way, people will have to think about whether they really want to spend ten Bloodmoneys on a snack cake."

3. "I don't see why it's anyone's business but my own how I kill myself," says Max Nagasawa, a pleasantly plump computer programmer, stuffing a chili dog down his throat. "My weight is my own business, and if I don't feel like exercising, that's my choice. Sure, it'd be healthier to lose a few pounds, but my priorities lie elsewhere. Leave us alone, and we, the citizens of CrazyPsychoManiacs, will decide what's important to us and what we want to eat."

4. "What about government-funded liposuction?" asks Abraham du Pont, while contemplatively chewing a mouthful of chili dog. "If I could get the fat sucked off of these hips, that would give me the willpower to stay thin. Obesity would be a thing of the past! Just think of it! Nothing but svelte, beautiful people everywhere! Ah, bliss!"

Citizens rise at daybreak every day for mandatory exercise.

The Issue
After a recent spate of high-profile lawsuits against corporations concerning the safety of their products, corporations have appealed to the government to change the laws of compensation.

The Debate[b]

1. "It's crazy!" cries Billy-Bob Jefferson, CEO of Sharp 'n' Pointy Things Incorporated. "These people should simply not be allowed to put the blame on us if they mindlessly abuse our products! I'd have thought it would be common sense not to stick your hand in a blender to 'see if it was working properly'. We need to outlaw these ridiculous lawsuits so I can get on with my business and those working in the law profession can get on with theirs."

[b]2. "I'm almost inclined to agree," muses Bill Love, a nearby firefighter. "People really should know better than to dry their cats in the microwave oven. But it's also that microwave oven that should not start a fire if one leaves it running overnight. Let's just put higher national safety standards in place that all products must be certified to meet. The extra expense shouldn't worry people if it's the difference between life and death after all."

3. "There's nothing wrong with victims getting a little money for the damage they've suffered," claims Randy Love, Corrian's most notorious lawyer. "In fact we should be increasing court capacities so everyone with a complaint to file won't have to wait long before they can get before a judge. Sure it'll be expensive to implement, but maybe then the manufacturers will think twice before selling their unsafe junk without explaining things clearly in the manuals!"

Every product goes through extensive safety-testing by the government.

The Issue
During the construction of a new Hyper-Mega-Ultra-Super Mall, construction workers have unearthed what appears to be an ancient temple. A furious debate has arisen between those who wish to preserve it, and those who need their retail therapy.

The Debate

1. "This is the perfect opportunity to learn more of our nation's history!" says Professor Miranda McGuffin, head of the archaeological department of the Corrian History Museum. "All building work must be halted immediately so that my team can study this remarkable piece of our nation's past. To bury these ruins under some concrete eyesore would be criminal!"

2. "It's all very nice to get to know some more about our past," argues foreman Colin McGuffin. "But that's just the thing! It's the past! We must think of the future. If you allow those decrepit fossils to take over this place, you put at risk the future of our economy! Today it's archaeological digs, tomorrow it's 'preservation of the environment'. Just let me bulldoze the worthless pile of rubble and bury it under a few hundred tonnes of concrete."

3. "Behold, the hour has arrived! The Holy Temple of Firefury Amahira has been unearthed!" proclaims Yon-Zhauryg v'Klot, leader of the Cult of the Undead Deer. "This land is sacred, and must not be befouled by these corporations! No-one but the enlightened children of Firefury must be allowed to venture inside our rediscovered sanctuary, where we will perform the required rituals to please the Great Goddess and prevent Her from unleashing Her wrath upon the world."

Prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams.

The Issue
The international community has appealed to CrazyPsychoManiacs to increase humanitarian aid to the world's poorer nations.

The Debate

1. "We must increase foreign aid," says beaded local peace activist Samuel Clinton. "Compared to some of these nations, CrazyPsychoManiacs is swimming in Bloodmoneys. Let's face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let's show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors."

2. "Talk about a way to flush Bloodmoneys straight down the toilet," argues Think Tank member Akira Longbottom. "What I've noticed is that whenever we do give something, it's never enough: a few years later they're back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies."

3. "Relief wouldn't hurt us... if we 'relieved' the right countries," suggests government advisor Prudence Frederickson. "We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Uranium Mining markets... it's win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause."

The government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.

The Issue
The 'Underground Element', a newly formed resistance force to the governing party in Corrian, has begun broadcasting anti-government messages over a network of public radio stations.

The Debate

1. "These rebels are harmless," says Roger Mombota, political commentator. "In the interests of free speech and democracy, we should allow them to broadcast their messages. There's nothing wrong with a little criticism of the government - indeed, it could do with some more incentive to perform well."

2. "It'd be one thing if it was genuinely insightful criticism," says Lars du Pont, your personal advisor. "But this is a disgrace! It's simply fear-mongering and government-bashing. We should shut down these punks before they fill our citizens' heads full of mistruths. And while we're at it, there are a few other radio stations that need to smarten up their attitude to the government, too."

3. "Now now, let's be reasonable about this," muses Konrad Gutenberg, radio chatshow host. "The government should think very carefully before it gets into the business of telling people what they can and can't say on the air. The solution here is not to ban criticism, but to price radio station licenses at an appropriate level - that is, higher than a rabble of unshaven hippies can afford."

'The Anti-Government Hour' is a popular programme on many of Corrian's radio stations.

The Issue

In order to curb youth-related crime, the police have suggested a national curfew.

The Debate

1. "The youth-related crime statistics in Aerinon are appalling," says police chief Steffan Silk. "If kids can't go out at night, they won't have any opportunity to roam around in their baggy pants and backwards hats mugging the elderly and causing a general ruckus. Just last night I had to run down some punk who tried to steal a mailbox right off the post! This is getting ridiculous. Sure, it'll require more funding, but think of all the mailboxes we'll save! Our youth need to spend the wee hours sleeping or studying--not out gallivanting with their friends."

2. "I'm not a criminal just because I'm seventeen!" shouts honors student, Stephanie O'Bannon. "Yeah, I like to go out partying, but I'd never hurt anybody! Besides, we've already got enough problems with these pigs breathing down our necks. If anything we need MORE freedom. It's time for the government to step up to the plate and tell these power hungry swine to stop cramping our style!"


Updated when I know what happens.

The Issue
In response to rising rates of depression related suicides, mental health groups have called for government funding to help support treatment programs, citing various surveys that indicate psychological disorders are often an overlooked problem.

The Debate

1. "Although it is often dismissed as an irrelevant complaint, depression is a real disease, it isn't just 'all in your head'," says Pip Summers, depression sufferer. "Depression has significant effects on groups and individuals, especially amongst teenagers. Every day, more and more people commit suicide because of this disease, but this could all be stopped if this country had a decent level of funding for support and public awareness programs."

2. "Screw them," Larry Silk, talkback radio host, stated yesterday. "Depression isn't a disease, it's just another example of today's youth finding something to complain about. Life's never been better. In fact, just yesterday, I bought my fourth BMW. And even if it is as serious as the bleeding hearts claim, then I say we leave it and cut some of the funding being wasted on these head cases. If a few whiners jump off a bridge, it'll be good for the genepool. Natural selection, my friends. It's a great thing."

3. "Actually, a lot of depression cases in teens are related to school and all the stress and pressure young people are under to succeed. A greater effort to correct the problem of depression should start there, with more funding so that schools can provide better counseling programs." Comments Dr. Anne-Marie Hamilton, author of the book "Tomato Soup for the Soul". "That way teens who are depressed can get help even if their parents can't or won't take them to see a psychologist."

Citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling".

The Issue
A violent and rather messy stampede of Deers during a parade in your honour has brought widespread media attention to the shortage of blood, plasma and platelet donors in Corrian.

The Debate

1. "Blood donation should be compulsory!" argues Aaron Hamilton, a spokesperson for the Corrian Blood Donors' Association. "We can't expect citizens to come flocking to donate blood just out of the goodness of their hearts, so the government should take the matter into its own hands. If we could maybe require healthy citizens to... let's say... donate blood every three months, we wouldn't have such a problem with shortages. It'll require more funding to organise and carry out, yes, but your people are worth it, aren't they?"

2. "Don't listen to that devil worshipper!" preaches Clint Summers, a Jehovah's Witness. "It isn't up to us to decide what should be done, it is God, and only God, who decides what someone should do with their blood. I'd rather die clean and go to Heaven, thank you very much! We must heed this Gospel and ban blood donations now! Of course some people will die, but they will be rewarded in the afterlife for obeying His word."

3. "You're kidding, right?" burbles anaemic patient Freddy Silk from a hospital bed. "I'm not going to let some closed-minded priest tell me what I can and can't do with my blood! But I don't think people should be forced to give blood; they just need incentive, that's all. Like money. Trust me, any kind of 'Corras For Blood' scheme will have them almost begging to donate. It's the only humane way to ensure that people like me are getting the care we need. If you're worried about funding just get it from those religious nuts... they're not helping anyone with it."

4. "I have an even better idea," says Jean-Paul Rifkin, a prison officer. "How about we force every healthy prisoner to donate blood? It's about time they gave back to society what they've taken away in the first place. If we do this we won't have to beg the law-abiding citizens of Corrian to take time out of their day to give blood. It's not like these thugs are really doing anything for us, so missing a pint or three won't matter, am I right?"

The poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet.

The Issue
Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.

The Debate

1. "This is an outrage!" cries Clint Washington, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."

2. "You can't mean that, surely?" snorts Al Chicago, adjusting his hat, made from real Food hide. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"

Fur coats have become the latest fashion trend.

The Issue

A collection of citizens, civil rights workers, and concerned mothers have signed a petition to stop the manufacturing of the 'BFG-69' (AKA 'the Organ Grinder'), a new rifle planned to be used in the military which works by shredding people's internal organs.

The Debate

1. "If we don't produce these weapons we will be left behind in the arms race," says Al Summers, director of the Alliance of Rifles, Grenades, and Handguns. "These weapons are the future and it won't just stop with the BFG-69. We're planning on introducing the Bone-Breaker 91-DX Sonic Rocket Launcher next year along with our anthrax grenade line. If CrazyPsychoManiacs is going to stay ahead of the game then it'll just have to accept that highly destructive weaponry is part of life. We'd also like to sell it commercially to your police force and citizens if you'd just sign here...?"

2. "This rifle is completely inhumane," says Dr Beth Barry, leaning on a cane. "These weapons are unnecessarily violent - how can anyone condone something that rips apart your innards like this? how long do you think it will be before these new inventions get into the wrong hands? Shootings are bad enough but at least most people are just wounded. The BFG-69 and those of its ilk are lethal in the extreme and are completely unacceptable! We need some moral decency here and get rid of these unconventional weapons along with all the other shameful armaments like mustard gas."

3. "Excuse me, but whenever has anyone ever heard of a weapon that WAS humane?" asks Konrad Wall, ballistics expert. "These are devices for firing slugs of metal at people. It's not nice, but it IS necessary. People are always so squeamish. They've already accepted the standard ripping through the body of the standard bullet but the moment something a little more effective is made they kick up a fuss. Typical. These nonstandard weapons should only be put into trained military hands anyway. We're not making rocking horses here, we're protecting CrazyPsychoManiacs against her enemies! Just this once, let's try to stay ahead of them."

The commercialisation of highly deadly weapons has instilled CrazyPsychoManiacs with a very polite populace.

The Issue

A controversial newspaper investigation reveals that as many as 30% of all children are employed in a dangerous environment.

The Debate

1. Randy Hamilton, an orphanage foster parent, says, "Child labor should be outlawed! Too many times I have received children who only know manual labor. We have to give these children an education and a chance at a real future. Think of the children!" Freddy King, a bum on the street, agrees, "Forget about what's best for the children. They're stealing my work! The only way to get an entry job in this market is to either be younger than 12 and willing to work for nothing, or to knock off a kid and be there to fill the opening, and still be willing to work for nothing."

2. Unemployed parent Randy Longbottom begs that you keep child labor legal. "You can't outlaw child labor; we need the extra money that my 13 children earn. Since both my spouse and I were laid off, the only way to get enough money to feed both of us is to have all of our kids employed. In fact, with the downswing in the economy we're expecting another kid to close the gap."

3. Fat cat factory owner Pip Spirit steps over the bum in the street and explains, "You don't understand. You shouldn't make child labor illegal, you should subsidize it. By employing these kids I'm giving them valuable life lessons. I didn't go to school and see where I am now? I'm giving them work experience, making them highly employable for the 15 years of their expected lives."

The adult unemployment rate nears 100% as all available jobs have been filled by young children.

The Issue

A small religious group is lobbying the government to allow them to take multiple wives.

The Debate

1. "It's about time we had our religious rights recognized," says Aaron Frederickson, a devout member of a faith that is never made quite clear. "Who is the government to tell me I can't love more than one woman? The government doesn't know how much of me there is to go around!"

2. "This is nothing more than sexual deviants using religion as a pretext for perversion!" says Reverend Elizabeth Li. "Marriage is one man, one woman, and death do we part. What's so hard to get? Anything else is a perversion, and must be banned."

3. "Multiple wives? Excellent!" says passer-by Violet Hendrikson. "Presumably we will allow multiple husbands, as well. And gay marriages, of course. In fact, now is probably the time for the government to butt out of marriage altogether. Let people marry their cats, if they want."

there have been reports of people marrying housepets.

The Issue

Health workers are frequently being ignored by people when recommending vaccinations against common illnesses. When these people subsequently become ill they require expensive emergency care. To correct this situation, many health experts are lobbying for mandatory vaccinations.

The Debate

1. Randy Trax, a pro-vaccination taxpayer, says "If a doctor thinks a vaccination is good for you then you should have it. All these people turning them down are know-it-alls that are wasting my tax money. Or they're really afraid of needles."

2. Sue-Ann Gutenberg, who recently refused a vaccination, says that vaccines must remain completely optional: "Anything else is a breach of human rights. Doctors are not always right!" she says. "I'm perfectly capable of deciding what is best for my body!"

3. Al Wu, Corrian's leading expert on health spending, suggests a third way. "Leave vaccines optional but make free health care conditional on having them. That way people get to choose, and it will help ease the load on our national healthcare budget."

the state pays for care of easily preventable illnesses.

The Issue

After several bloody conflicts in nearby regions, a stream of asylum-seekers and refugees has been spotted heading for CrazyPsychoManiacs's shores.

The Debate

1. "Some of these people have endured terrible hardships to reach our borders," says International Red Cross spokesperson Klaus Johnson. "We must welcome these unfortunates with open arms. Let the world see that CrazyPsychoManiacs does not turn its back on those in need!"

2. "These grasping freeloaders will swamp our culture and traditions!" argues talk-radio host Akira King. "First they want welfare, next thing you know they're taking our jobs -- and you know they won't bother to learn our language. I say charity begins at home -- and this isn't their home. This is the world's problem, not ours."

3. Economics Professor Jazz Rifkin offers an alternative. "There is no question that we have to help those who reach out to us in their darkest hour. But on the other hand, we cannot help everybody. So let's just take the ones who are willing to keep our streets clean and our drains flowing in return for a subsistence wage."

The Navy has outraged the international community by sinking a boatload of refugees to prevent them reaching the shore.

The Issue

After watching the movie 'The Fast and the Belligerent', boyracers from all over CrazyPsychoManiacs have been petitioning for the abolition of speed limits.

The Debate

1. "Today's cars are safer at high speeds than ever before," argues Falala Barry, editor of Sports Car Monthly. "And long-distance commuters are tired of spending hours on the road just to get to the next city. Abolishing the speed limit would be great for the economy too! People would be more likely to go out and buy cars if they thought they'd be able to use them properly. It seems like such a shame to be puttering along at the speed limit in a magnificent car like the 450HP twin-turbo Food SX/T-7700 you know."

2. "Are you crazy?" cries Pete Longfellow, a road-accident victim. "We need lower speed limits on automobiles, not higher. You might as well enforce mandatory blindfolds on the road too, it'll come to the same conclusion! People's lives are at stake here! If people were made to drive at, say, no faster than fifty kilometres per hour, I would feel a lot happier walking the streets. Besides, if it takes a long time to get places via car then people might begin using mass transit for once."

3. "I think the current speed limits are fine, but we need better enforcement," says Akira Spirit, the most feared traffic warden in CrazyPsychoManiacs. "If we required GPS tracking devices in all vehicles, we'd ticket every single speeder, no problem. In addition, we could monitor the movements of criminals and other suspicious individuals, and vastly reduce the risk of crime, terrorism, and other subversive activity. Some say that's an invasion of privacy, but if you've done nothing wrong what's there to fear?"

The roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril.

The Issue

Members of your intelligence service have captured a spy gathering information in the civil service. Your interrogators have learned that the man known only as 'Solo' is acting on behalf of the government of Outer Bigtopia, which denies all knowledge and involvement.

The Debate

1. "Shpies! There are shpies everywhere!" says Agent Anne-Marie Mombota, checking the fruit bowl for bugs. "You can't trusht these foreigners! They act all nice and local and then BAM! They're away over the hill with military shecretsh. We should be keeping track of all of them with ankle braceletsh and wiretapsh to be sure they won't betray ush!"

2. "I don't think we need to go quite that far," says Secret Agent Fleur King. "Our security is fine. We did catch him after all. The real question is how much did he tell the Outer Bigtopian government. If we send our own spies to gather intelligence and, in light of recent events, bolster the funding of the intelligence agency, then we can learn for sure the intentions of our enemies."

3. "And where will that get us?" asks Max Longfellow, one of your older, more bitter spies. "Spying them back won't help us. If we send someone out there and THEY get caught what are we going to do? We should call those Bigtopians out on their scam and hit them were it hurts! Diplomatic sanctions will do for starters; we can throw those smug envoys out on their rear ends! Anyway, it's almost certainly not just Outer Bigtopia up to these kind of shenanigans, we ought to keep all embassies under police surveillance. We risk all sorts of trade sanctions, true, but it pays to be careful."

4. "Do you realise what kind of havoc we would cause on an international level if we confront them about this?" asks Jean-Paul King, an ambassador to Outer Bigtopia over a secure satellite link. "No one need ever know this happened; officially that man doesn't exist. Most nations have some sort of espionage programme; it's nothing to raise a fuss about. We should just quietly execute Mr 'Solo' and move on."

5. "But what if he discovered the plans I've been assembling for the moon cannon project?!" asks Brigadier Freddy McAlpin, one of your more insane military officers in a hushed whisper. "It's nothing official, something I've been doing in my spare time... but what if they've got wind of it?! We could all be in mortal danger! We've got to commence construction right now! Our esteemed leader, do I have permission to get Project Lunar Apocalypse underway?"

6. "Moon... cannon? Mortal danger? You're off your rocker," says General Flowers, scowling as he leafs through the budgets folder. "The reason we're being spied on is because we've become so aggressive and militant! It's only natural that other governments are going to check up on us. If we don't want to get spied on then there should be nothing worth looking for. All we need to do is massively reduce military expenditure. If nothing else, it at least puts more money into people's pockets than into the construction of glorified death machines."

Citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon.

The Issue

The various branches of Corrian's military brought their budget petitions to your attention and, as usual, they are all asking for widespread increases over the rest of the military departments.

The Debate

1. "Clearly the army requires the greatest increase in funds this year," says Field Marshal Naki Summers. "After all, wars were never won by air or sea and in this dangerous world we must be able to protect the interests of Corrian. Currently our men get hand-me-down weapons, rations I wouldn't feed a pig - the army is increasingly looking like a bad career option and we can't have that. If we're going to get recruits, we need more funding to support our brave lads in their duty."

2. "Hah! It's the Navy who needs the money, mate," says Grand Admiral Clint Summers. "The army and the police forces can protect us domestically, but can they protect us from having our foreign trade cut off? Can they protect us from terrorists and pirates? How are the soldiers going to get to the enemy's borders? Swim? I think not. Fund us, the Navy, the true protectors of Corrian!"

3. "Despite the statements of my colleagues," says Johann Mistletoe, Marshal of the Air Force. "The Air Force requires more money than these men playing around with boats. We are increasingly seeing terrorists taking to the air, and more ships or guns are not going to stop that. Our people will only be safe when the Air Force has the power it needs to defend us - and for that we need more funding and more government support for industries geared towards the development of new aircraft."

4. "You're all thinking too small!" exclaims Max Christmas, an avid Star Wars fan. "What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It'll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!"

5. "It's simply not good enough!" wails Zeke Silk, the Minister of Defence. "It's not about the money - it's the manpower. Not enough people by far are signing up! All we seem to be getting nowadays are drunks and people who volunteered for a dare. The current conscription laws need to be either more strictly enforced or drastically rewritten. What I propose is a universal draft: everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of Corrian in the region."

6. "The military is a stain on the peace-loving nature of our nation!" cries Hope du Pont, while sporting a Rastifarian hat. "People should be allowed to choose what they do for a living! Conscription is wrong and I don't see why our tax Corras should go to such a despicable cause! The money should be going to more important places - like our pockets!"

The Issue

Conservative commentators have remarked that many foreign immigrants in Corrian are failing to take part in, or even acknowledge, the country's rich and varied culture, traditions, and social mores. This has caused some interethnic strife, and reports of violence in minority-dominated neighbourhoods have been increasing every day.

The Debate

1. "It's disrespectful," says Zeke Rifkin, serving traditional Deer-shaped cookies on a tray. "These people talk funny, dress funny, pray to bizarre gods, and cook their smelly food. Food I've never seen on any LOCAL menu. Some of them don't even speak our language very well! If at all! If immigrants want the privilege of living in this country then they should be made to adopt our own traditions! Otherwise our culture will slowly but surely disappear! If they refuse... well, then they can go back to their own country since they love it so much."

2. "I have a right to lead my life the way I want," says Samuel Broadside, an immigrant, with the help of a translator. "I will not forsake my heritage for your people and I will not dirty my tongue with your heathen language. And if you have a problem with that then tell me this: what have I done wrong? I pay my taxes, I break no laws- and yet you think I should change? Those who don't wish to 'integrate' shouldn't have to."

3. "Oh, there's no need to be like that!" says Faith Mombota, president of the Multiculturalism Society in a cheery tone. "Corrian should be a more accepting country, open to new experiences! Embrace difference, people, don't reject it! These folk aren't hurting us or our traditions, they are showing us different ways of life and making us wiser and richer beings in the process! It's our responsibility to take the first step towards reparations and remove any ethnic bias from the names of our public holidays - how does Winter Day sound to you? I like it."

4. "We need to stop thinking of 'them' as a problem that needs to be fixed," insists Beth Broadside, an undergraduate in anthropology. "Integration in society is a two-way street, Leader. We can't shun people for not following a major religion or drinking their tea with the wrong hand. That's just silly! No, if we want immigrants to pick up our ways then we should be more willing to learn about theirs! Mandatory education courses should encourage citizens to learn more about other cultures in Corrian."

5. "That's stupid," says Roxanne Licorish, flatly. "I'm not going to 'bond' with immigrants by learning about their beliefs! For multiculturalism to actually function, everyone needs to actually meet these people and deal with them on a day-to-day basis. Then maybe they'll realise that yeah, they're people too. The only way to do this is to put an end to segregated neighbourhoods - even if it means forcing families to move elsewhere."

6. "Everyone shut up, I have the perfect solution," says Sue-Ann Mombota, shouting into a megaphone. "How about we kick these ungrateful foreigners out of the nation and never let them come back?! We've all heard what those ethnics are like, I wouldn't be surprised if they ate their own young! Immigration shouldn't be allowed! I won't abide it!"

Religious figures have been banned from public holidays to make them more multicultural.